No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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