She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Randomize
