i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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