so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
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