The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize