There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
My friends, they love my intelligence
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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