Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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