Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
The struggles of a small town man whore
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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