But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize