is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
