we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize