Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
