At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I could have mohawked her pubes.
i think i have two assholes
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
