my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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