i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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