You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
We need a shit load of segways right now
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
