i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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