Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Randomize
