Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I will pee on everything he values.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
