I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
