A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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