Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
