i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Randomize
