I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Randomize
