I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
