you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
