And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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