So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Be still, my beating vagina.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Randomize
