Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
