its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
