I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Randomize