My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Randomize
