i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize