i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Randomize
