im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
