happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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