The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Randomize