i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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