Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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