is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Quick, to the slutcave!
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
