I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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