idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I intend to get homeless drunk
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Randomize
