Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Terrible idea I love it
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize
