If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
How's work?
Spinning.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
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