And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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