she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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