Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
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