it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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