i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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