508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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