Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
