Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
