Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
