In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
