What did we do last night that was yellow?
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
