Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
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