just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
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