it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I just blew my weed a kiss
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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