I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
