never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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