The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
