god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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