do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Randomize