Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
