It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
ugly people sure do ruin things
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
