WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
whose parrot is this?
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
