I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
