Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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