There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
