I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
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