She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
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