so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
