you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
She even gives head with a lisp.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
